Last week was just another one in a long line of lazy weeks. I have no clue where time has gone. It is so fleeting and at times I feel lost and adrift on this course called life. I am so overwhelmed for this year; I have a final new course of which I know nothing about, I have to put the finishing touches on my dissertation premise and prospectus, which is causing me many a sleepless night. I mean who in the hell can REALLY truly differentiate between epistemology, pedagogy or ontology? I have a state certification test to study for, and yet I still know nothing.
Well, that’s not quite true; I can pass about 55% of the test, so that’s something. And to top it off, I need to find some form of employment because this is the last of my school stipend. I am officially broke, broke, and broke. Oh, happy times. Too bad I don’t have a husband who could help me out or something. Yet, despite all of this, the only thing that is weighing me down and working my nerves is how in the hell can I find the energy and time to write? I mean can write for fun, but I need to find the time to write for money, you know like the hookers have sex for money and not fun.
This week its time to piss or get off the pot week. I have 5 weeks to get my act together, write something for publication, or rejection, pass my test, and get a somewhat cushy, proper teaching job. Wish me luck world.
On a positive note, I’ve lost 5 lbs. This year and I am very happy about that. That, and also that I have stuck with an exercise program since January! I mean I feel guilty if I don’t work out. See, it’s not all bad; I just need to hang in there and find the good!
“I never loved another person the way I loved myself.” – Mae West