The Black Barbie Chronicles: The Pledge

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I really had some Black Barbie Moments in Korea. I will start telling some of my Korea stories and work my way to the Saudi ones. I think next week I will start with the story of how I am sure to this day 10 years later that the nurse at my first Korean school thinks I am an idiot. Or as I like to say, just another day of being Black Barbie in Korealand.

I have a ton of Korea stories and not sure if I will post these guys into a  separate blog by itself or short stories or just my usual random posting here on WordPress. The von Tease will start writing again. I want to do it for money since love is paying me nothing. Maybe I’m not soliciting the right kind of love; further research may be needed. I think I just need to find my outlet I suppose. For now, I am doing it for the love; I think of you guys as my first husband (sorry, my second husband)…well, I guess if you want to be technical if I call you guys my “husband”, I am committing bigamy. Anyway, next week I will post my first entry here I guess I will call them The Black Barbie Chronicles.

Here’s what The Black Barbie Chronicles will involve. They will involve booze, drunks, Western drunks, Korean drunks, Military drunks (have I covered my drunks?); inappropriate language, questionable sex, non questionable sex, inappropriate touching, appropriate touching, insulting an entire country, insulting that country’s people, Canadians, Australians, The Brits, The Irish, The Scottish, South Africans, the US military, and the many, many people who “helped” or enabled me while in Korea aka Land of the Morning Calm. I also am a 1,000% sure that my postings will offend people. I am also sure that some people may not want what I have to say spilled, but hey, it’s been close to 10 years, so by my own counsel, the statue of limitations has passed.  At least I hope it has. Oh yeah, I intend for The Black Barbie Chronicles to be NSFW; so if you’re easily offended, don’t read the shit! If you’re offended, then clearly, you don’t know me and must be someone new following me. For those that know me to paraphrase that famous quote from All About Eve, “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night”.

Again, I had a shit load of fun while I traveled and lived aboard and I don’t think that I traumatized kids too much. I regret nothing! Nothing! Well, maybe that Canadian, but that’s a story for another time. Or was it the Jordanian I regretted? Anyway, I am moving off topic. Oh yeah, remind me to tell you guys about the dude I had an English camp with whose sole research into Korea was researching the age of consent and heavy research into the “male friendships”. OMG it’s a doozy. I don’t think this one involves alcohol, but then again, you never know.

I also have some Saudi ones, too, but I’m still a little too raw about those and I should give someone a head’s up before I start spilling all sorts of tea. Then again, some of the tea will not surprise a LOT of people, but I digress. Anyway, I think that I will start next week with a Welcome to Korea, Bitch! Anyway, I’m looking forward to writing this shit, and I hope that you guys are looking forward to reading it.   Tune in next week to hear me bitch about my first few days in Korea.

F.M. Laster

“I never loved another person the way I loved myself”. – Mae West


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