The Black Barbie Chronicles:

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Hey, can you guys believe there was a time I FAILED the job interview to get my first teaching gig in Korea? It’s true.  Anyway, here’s that story. Enjoy my pain.

F. M. Laster

“I’ve been things and seen places.”- Mae West

Black Barbie Didn’t Get The Gig

Cheese and rice, they didn’t want me. I really wanted the public school gig because public school gigs have better job security, excellent working conditions, I get all my holidays, better pay, and the high likelihood of getting paid. However, getting a public school job is a long and complicated process. Think of it as a real-world version of The Hunger Games. EPIK is a long con, not a short con. Getting hired by them is a very long complicated and competitive process and only available during certain times of the year. Every now and then the stars line up, a sacrifice is accepted, and a few positions open up during the office season. This is where I came in; a spot opened up and applied for it.

EPIK pretty much wants everything but your first-born. What I sent them was the following:

  • My qualifications
  • Answered some simple health questions,
  • Some bullshit essay about Korea, me, and how much I love teaching
  • A lesson plan

If for some reason, your offerings passed the EPIK Screening Gods, then you were deemed worthy for an interview. I know that I was GOP (Good On Paper), so getting an  interview was a no-brainer. So, I then found myself passing on to the next round, the Skype interview.

There is no doubt in my mind that I aced my interview. Hell, I did enough research to know what EPIK wants and how to give it to them. You know, like some educational whore; selling her mind and abilities to the client (EPIK). I showed intelligence and answered questions like the professional I am. Hell, I was thinking I had tougher interviews applying for cashier jobs at Popeyes than this EPIK teaching gig. I didn’t know; I knew I had that teaching job. This was not ego talking; just experience.

Now for reasons known only the cocksucker on the other side, I failed my interview. I tried to think of the reason why, but I could not think of a reason. Then I started to take apart my application and considered the fault lied there. Could the reason be for my lack of teaching experience? Did I comment a cultural faux pas and didn’t realize it? Did the interviewer take offense to the faux as? Could it be that I am older than 22? Or maybe, and I’m just throwing this out there, could it be that I am Black? Who the fuck knows?

Then again, maybe it was my asshole of an interviewer. This bastard was a bit on the rude side. He actually acted as if he had better things to do than to interview me. The funny part was he was a Westerner like me. I think was as Aussie or Kiwi. During the interview, it was apparent he was bored shitless based on his sighs, huffing, puffing, and doing everything but looking at me.

In what can only be described as a matter of minutes, I received an email stating and I quote, ‘We are sorry, but your application profile does not match with EPIK needs. Please try again next year.” What the hell does that mean? I really believe that I failed my interview before I made it on camera; like the interviewer was going through the motions in order not to get fired. Now I have read on other blogs, such as Ed’s ESL Cafeshop that Korea, in general, prefers White American Females; and the younger, the better. This could because they are not likely to question Korean authority. Well, Korea, not everyone is a docile, doe-eyed, submissive female who will bend over and do what you say. I don’t care how many American pornos you’ve seen; we are not all like that.

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