The Black Barbie Chronicles: Arrival in Busan

First, I’m back Baby!


So, let’s get 2019 started with a little diddy from when I arrived in Busan and was introduced to my apartment.  Oh, the stories about THAT place.  Anyway, enjoy.

F. M. Laster

“I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.” -Mae West

November 1st

Arrival in Busan

Well, I have traveled across an ocean and I am finally here! Well I’ve been here in Korea for a while, but I am here in Busan baby! Now where the fuck is this damn beach these fuckers keep talking about. What I have seen is not really beach worthy. I do know that there are a few since Busan is more or less a port city importing services and goods. Trust, I will elaborate more on the services and goods later. In the meantime, I was blessed with what should be my favorite co-teachers/handlers coming to pick me up from the bus station. I was a little concerned about where to meet him, but then again, how many Black Barbies will be arriving in Busan with suitcases? Also, he has a photo of what I look like; it’s like Tinder for Teachers.

Now, when your co-teacher or CT for short picks you up, there are a couple of things, which can happen. Now your CT could dump you at your apartment, take you shopping, or take you to your school. Mine decided to do all three. Ain’t I the luckiest?!!

First, we dropped off my luggage at my apartment. Apartment, hell this place is more like a flophouse. Nope, I take that back. Calling it a flophouse is an insult to flophouses. Seriously, this is my current living situation. As soon as the open the door, I look to the right and there is a shoe cubby. Then you see the headboard of my bed. Straight ahead is a desk with a small bookcase built into the wall. Then there is a small window; I can barely make it out. Next to this window is a medium wardrobe, which will not, I repeat, not hold any of the shit I brought with me. Really Korea, but let us move one. Next, to the wardrobe, I open a sliding door and I am in my kitchen. What the hell? I walk in and boom; I see a 2-burner stove on the left, with a cupboard above the stove. To the left of that, there is a sink and next to that is my fridge. Oh, joy. However wait, it gets better. I look behind me and I have my washing machine and some ghetto ass drying rack; all this fuckery is crammed into the “kitchen”. I have one more final surprise, the bathroom.

What bathroom? This shit is worse than the kitchen! I have a small, and I do mean small window in this fucker. There is no way a body is getting out of here. I have a toilet, a sink, and no tub or shower. I ask Moon, where’s the shower. He smiles and points to the faucet attached to the wall near the window. That’s my shower. I’m looking at him in disbelief. You have got to be shitting me. I told him if I turn on the “shower” everything including the toilet and toilet paper will get wet. He advises me to take all paper out when taking a shower. Un fucking real. Welcome to Korea bitch! I live, eat, shit, sleep, and cook in a one-room apartment.

What kind of fuckery is this shit? Damn, I have had closets bigger than this shit! However, while it is small and cramped but I think I’ll live for a year. Then again, I only plan on using this place for crashing, showering and changing! Party train, baby!

After the fuck show called “my apartment”, we went shopping. I was lucky since the school bought me the furniture and also blankets, pots, utensils, and a kettle. I had asked about the 300k-settlement allowance and he said that he needed to get from the finance officer at school so office to school we will go.

After dropping off my supplies at “the apartment”, we went to school. The school is at the top of a hill. A fucking hill! Not a little hill mind you; this fucker is steep and at an incline that would make health nuts go, “Damn son!”

Now I am meeting different people from different departments. I have a lot of bowing to do which is new to me. I think I’m getting it right. I meet the finance man and he reads me a prepared speech. I thought it was nice until I asked him a question. Turns out he used Google translate to get his speech together. What he did not count on was Black Barbie asking him a question. That threw him. I just told him thank you in Korean, took my money and bowed away.

I’ll meet the rest of the staff and students tomorrow. Looking forward to that. Now to find me a Korean version of 7-11 grab a couple of beers, score some food, and head home to that fake ass apartment I must call home for the next 364 days.

Tune in next week when you learn all about my first day of school.

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