Erotic Fridays: The Miller’s Tale

Remember that whole 50 Shades of grey, which was so hot. Well, it may surprise you that people were just as freaky in times when you wouldn’t think they would be! So, guess which erotic personage I shall host this month. No other than Mr. Geoffrey Chaucer.

220px-portrait_of_geoffrey_chaucer_(4671380)_(cropped)_02

Geoffrey Chaucer (c. 1343 – 25 October 1400) was an English poet and author. Widely considered the greatest English poet of the Middle Ages, he is best known for The Canterbury Tales. Chaucer is known as the “Father of English literature”, and he was the first writer to be buried in Poets’ Corner of Westminster Abbey.

Chaucer achieved fame during his lifetime as an author, philosopher, and astronomer, composing the scientific A Treatise on the Astrolabe for his 10 year-old son Lewis. He also maintained an active career in the civil service as a bureaucrat, courtier, and diplomat. Among Chaucer’s many works are The Canterbury Tales, The Book of the Duchess, The House of Fame, The Legend of Good Women, and Troilus and Criseyde. His work was crucial in legitimizing the literary use of the Middle English vernacular at a time when the dominant literary languages in England were French and Latin.

On the surface, they may seem a little strange and straightforward; it’s just a bunch of people who happen to be going on a religious pilgrimage and tells stories to pass the time. Oh baby, what tales they tell! There are a few which would put 50 shades to shame. Obviously, I’m not going to showcase the ENTIRE tale, just give some bits and pieces so that you can get a sense of verbal porn coming from Chaucer’s pen. The one is a section of The Miller’s Tale. I’ll post the original and the meaning underneath. Have a good one.

F. M. Laster

“I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.” -Mae West

Excerpt from The Miller’s Tale

Now sire and eft sire, so bifel the cas

That on a day this hende Nicholas

Fil with this yonge wyfe to rage and pleye

Whil that hir housbonde was at Oseneye,

As clerkes been ful subtile and ful queynte,

And prively he caught hire by the queynte

And sayde, “Ywis, but if ich have my wille

For deerne love of thee, lemman, I spille,”

And heeld hire harde by the haunche bones

And seyde, “Lemman, love me al at ones

Or I wold dyen, also God save me!”

The gist of this part of the tale is that a young wife is having an affair man named Nicholas while her husband is away (the scandal!). But here’s the real naughty bit. Know what queynte is? Try sounding it out. Yup, that’s a word for vagina. He caught her secretly by the queynte indeed. Also, “haunche bones” means thighs, btw.

 

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