Here’s another bit of the Canterbury Tales for you guys. This here is a bit from the Wife of Bath’s Tale. Enjoy
F. M. Laster
“I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.” -Mae West
As help me God, whan that I saugh hym go
After the beere, me thoughte he hadde a paire
Of legges and of feet so clene and faire,
That al myn herte I yaf unto his hoold.
He was, I trowe, a twenty wynter oold.
And I was fourty, if I shal seye sooth.
And yet I hadde alwey a coltes tooth.
Gat-tothed I was, and that bicam me weel.
I hadde the presente of Seinte Venus seel.
As help me God, I was a lusty oon
And faire and riche and yong and wel bigon.
And trewely, as myne housbondes tolde me,
I hadde the best “quonyam” myghte be.”
Wife of Bath, you cougar, you. Here, she talks about having an eye for a much younger man (because apparently she always likes them young, see “old meat” above). Luckily, she doesn’t think the 20-year age difference will matter, because she has the best “quonyam” (another new world for vagina) around. I like her confidence.