The Black Barbie Chronicles: I Drive By Your House

crazy

Yep, I went there.  I allowed someone to drive me to the point where I was committing felonies!  Felonies people!  You thought last week was cray, get a load of this week’s offering. Again, at think at this point, I really had no choice but to head off to Korea, eh? Anywho, enjoy and laugh at my pain!

F. M. Laster

“I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.” -Mae West

Sunday September 6th

I still drive by your house

Yep, I have graduated from Bitch to Psychotic Bitch! Driving by his house is the tamest thing that I have done over the past few weeks. Not a couple of times a week; no EVEY. DAMN. DAY!!! Again this is tame compared to what I did this week. Check out some more stalker-like shit I’ve done in the past week alone!

  • I would go up to his window late at night and tap on it for shits and giggles.
  • I would leave little things in his driveway like stuffed animals and toys from the Dollar Store.
  • I bought a box of roofing nails and sprinkled them around the driveway and under the tires of both his car and truck.
  • I followed him on a date. This was by accident during one of my drive-bys. I did not plan on following him on a date, but there I was. He was leaving with some bitch, so
  • I followed them. They went to the movies, and I sat a few rows toward the back. Then I followed the lovely couple into a restaurant. I too went in and placed my order to go. While waiting for my food, I went to the restroom and walked past their table. I made a big deal of introducing myself to the lady and telling him it’s a small world. Yep, it was creepy as hell.
  • I went into his house when he was work( still had the keys and he never changed the locks…Hello break-up rules. Change the locks!) and put hot sauce in his shampoo, laxatives in his food; you know real mature shit like that.
  • I would sneak into his house late at night and go into his bedroom and stand over him watching him as he slept. I would then go into his closet and take an article of clothing and leave. He never knew I was there.

Okay, I guess that last one was a little fucked up, and I think my rational side, told me to leave Hannu alone. I needed to get away from here. Like really get the fuck out of dodge. Okay, I need to get the hell out of dodge quick before I get arrested for staking, burglary, or something. The question was where could I go and what can I do? Seriously, where can I go?

 

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