The Black Barbie Chronicles: Ugh, Mornings

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I never was one to like mornings. Korea made it even worse since everyone here seems to get up at the crack of dawn.  I had to invest in some dark curtains to kill the damn sunshine coming through my windows.  Anywho, here’s a nice little tidbit about mornings in Korea. Enjoy.

F. M. Laster

“I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.” -Mae West

Ugh, Mornings

 I do not, repeat do not like mornings. I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere. I do not like mornings. Ugh sometimes I just have to bring out my inner Dr Seuss.

Mornings and I do not get along. We are different and we do not speak the same language. I speak common sense while Mornings speak bullshit. Which is strange since I’m working a job that damn near requires me to get up and work mornings. Go figure.

One of the juvenile ways that I act when dealing with mornings is to stay in bed for as long as possible and refusing to speak to people until it is necessary. This usually involves telling a taxi driver where I need to go. When I have “Adult Sleepovers” I usually pretend that I am still sleeping well after I wake up. If some poor soul at these sleepovers nudges me and want to engage in small talk, I’ll snarl like a wild bear and turn my head away from them.

It goes without saying I hate people in the morning. By people I mean those Mary Sunshine types who look upon mornings like a glorious blessing and ready to start the day all positive. Those are the types of people I want to punch in the face. I can not do the idle chit chat before noon. Between 8 am and noon, any words to me better be work-related and short and sweet. Anything else will get a snarl in response. I guess it’s safe to say people generally don’t bother me until later in the day. I can handle that.

Well, school is out for the summer and I did my little 3 days of summer camp. I am officially free to drink until 7 am and wake up around 4pm. Not all of us have this freedom, especially Korean kids. Now back the Texas Land, when school was out for the summer it meant that; schools out and kids are on summer vacation. Nope. My kiddies here are in private English academies known as hagwons. Parents do this to make sure that their little ones are learning 365 and be smarter when the school starts again.

I come from a culture that values the lazy, hobbies, and free time. Here in Korea Land, that’s a pipe dream. As much time as my kiddies spend in a classroom, I wonder when the hell they have time for any hobbies other than studying. From sunup to well past sundown going into the wee hours of the morning, these kids are studying and at the end of the night, they are exhausted.

As much as my lazy ass likes to complain about my 8-hour workday for teaching for maybe 3 of those hours, I get to spend my weekend going to bars, sleeping late, and watching bad Korean TV. My kids? Well, they get to spend their weekends in a school, cramming for nonstop exams, taking some piano or violin lesson, and, working on English, Korean, and Math homework. Maybe, just maybe if they are lucky, they’ll be time for a computer game or two before hitting the salt mines and passing out from exhaustion before getting up and doing the same shit again

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